Goodbye, twenty-somethings....

....you've been good to me! I'll always look back on you fondly.

You ushered in the end of my college days, where I learned that I could take care of myself and truly support myself on my own.

In the early years, you brought me a wonderful, loving marriage to an amazing husband - one that has taught many lessons that has helped to mould me into the person I am today. Nearly eight years later, I can't thank you enough for this gift!

You showed me how blessed I am to have loving friendships, a closeness to my family that I would not trade for the world, and an ever-strengthening relationship with God.

You taught me the true meaning of loss as I said goodbye to my grandparents and to my new mother-in-law.

You taught me to work hard, think big, and try new things. I've learned to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone and to accept change, even embrace it.

You've brought me to new places. Who would have ever thought I'd move away from my beloved Chicago for an adventure in California? Or that I would travel across North America, and even to Morocco or China?

During your watch, I've discovered new interests that are sure to last me my lifetime. From crafting to baking to running - even a marathon or two! - I've found so many fulfilling ways to express myself.

What a decade! You're hard to leave, but I feel well prepared me for the journey ahead. I can only imagine what the next one will bring:)

All Shook Up

I survived my first earthquake yesterday afternoon!

It was the strangest sensation - I was immediately aware of the slight vibration, and my first thought (seeing that I was in a laboratory) was that a centrifuge was out of balance, causing a nearby benchtop to shake. I quickly realized that it was coming from under my feet, and soon found myself swaying quite noticeably for a good minute or two. My heart was definitely racing - it was scary to not have any clue if more would follow. Thankfully, at a 5.4 on the Richter scale, the overall damage was quite minor.

I wasn't done with shake-ups for the day, though.

Late last night, I got pulled over while driving back to my hotel after visiting my aunts and cousins. I was tired, and was swerving in an out of my lane enough that it caused the officer some concern. He was kind, and sent me on my way with instruction to "Be careful" after quickly realizing that I had not been drinking. Quite literally a wake-up call, I was completely cured of my fatigue and wide awake by the time I drove off.

Still, the whole experience was unsettling and highlights a long-time battle that I continue to loose. I get sleepy when I drive - this I know. But how do I fight it and keep my eyes open and mind alert in situations when I feel like I don't have a choice but to drive? I regularly try coffee, blasting the radio, cold air from either the A/C or an open window or a combination of all three. I've tried talking on the phone (while using a headset, of course), snacking and even pinching myself, but to no avail. I know that pulling over and taking a quick nap is supposed to be a good idea, but I'm not comfortable with that, especially in unfamiliar areas or cities.

So I'm open to suggestions. How do you fight fatigue? What keeps you awake when nothing else seems to work?

Quality Friday: Sleep - It Does a Body Good

Since early April, I have found myself working much longer hours, sometimes tearing myself away from my computer after 8 or 9pm at night. Working from home can be challenging, because it is difficult to create boundaries between work-life and home-life when there is no physical difference between where they take place. My "office" is the couch. My relaxation spot is also the couch. I can effectively keep working and allow myself to think I'm relaxing without even realizing in.

When it does occur to me that the balance in my life has been severely tilted towards work, I find myself getting frustrated and looking for more things to "do" to physically force myself away from work. Case in point, I signed up for a marathon. Don't get me wrong - I'm very excited to be training, and am thrilled to be doing it for a great cause. Still, part of my reasoning for doing so was a bit flawed.

One reason for a marathon training program? Having something else to do will force me to stop working earlier in the evenings so that I can "do something for myself". The reality? Now I have one more (hugely time-consuming) activity to try to fit into an already crammed work and travel schedule. My solution lately? Stay awake longer. Well, who needs sleep anyway?

Me, I'm learning.

Last Monday night, as Mark and I were sitting on the couch enjoying our evening before my whirlwind week of travel, I found myself mentally working down the list of things I needed to get done before I left. I picked up my computer to check into my flight. Mark asked me to please put it down and please try to spend some time with him - we were in the middle of a conversation, and it was obvious that I was barely listening. Worse, I found myself getting increasingly frustrated that he was still talking to me when I clearly had so much to do and was obviously already tired. I could feel my pulse racing until as we started to argue, and finally I snapped at him.

I immediately found myself fighting back tears, as I buried my face in Mark's shoulder. Why can't I just get it all done? I cried. I'm exhausted, and obviously have not figured out how to manage my time. I have so much to do, and don't understand why I have to have a limit. I don't want to be limited. You know I hate it when I feel like I can't do something, and right now I'm pretty sure I'm not doing anything well, I sobbed to him.

Lovingly, my husband comforted me. He reminded me that I needed to be a little easier on myself, get more rest and put less pressure on myself. He told me that how much he appreciated me and promised to be more understanding and less demanding of my time. He said all the right things and was an absolute Saint.

Fast-forward to 11:30 pm Thursday night, when again, I was a completely exhausted wreck, having traveled to Seattle and then LA in the previous 2 days. Barely surviving on less that 4 hours of sleep per night, I still forced myself to get up early that morning to run at the hotel gym. Intermittently, I was crabby and snapping at Mark, then falling asleep on him, as we tried to talk on the phone for the first time that day.

Finally, he begged me to just go to bed already. When I complained that I needed to get up early to run, he told me that I was bing ridiculous and reminded me that I desperately needed sleep. Please sleep, he pleaded. Just catch up - you'll feel so much better. Don't set your alarm until you ACTUALLY need to get up tomorrow.

Thank God for his persistence, and that I had the sense to listen. Immediately, I crawled into bed, and surprised myself by waking up ahead of my alarm, well rested.

My day on Friday was wonderful. Amazingly, I am a much calmer and happier person when I get enough sleep:) I truly believe that just one night of solid shut-eye made the entire difference for my weekend. Instead of going into it exhausted, I was well rested and de-stressed. On both Friday and Saturday nights, I followed suit, going to bed early and waking up feeling wonderful, able to truly enjoy (and focus on) the time that Mark and I shared together.

I hope that this is a new leaf that I'm turning over. Away with the crabby, unbalanced person that I've been. Here's to Sleep - a key component in my quest towards balance and proper boundaries in my life!

Quality Friday: Celebrating Together Time

Busy season is upon us again, and the past few weeks have been filled with challenges as Mark and I learn to re-adjust to the lives we've chosen.

From Thanksgiving to mid-January, I had a nice long hiatus from extended travel for work. And from mid-December to mid-January, Mark enjoyed his long winter break from classes.

I think we got so used to the time together that we let ourselves forget that the change in schedule was only for a short season.

For me, the travel began again in the week preceding my trip to Morocco. Then, I spent last week in San Diego. Next week I'll be in Vancouver. And the list continues.

For Mark, starting his spring semester has meant auditions, adjusting work schedules, and re-learning the art of Study After Midnight.

Suffice it to say, we've struggled to balance our own responsibilities with the dedication and time needed to nurture our marriage. Sadly, at times we have found ourselves resorting to communicating in frustration and anger, rather than love.

Thankfully, it wasn't to late to re-dedicate ourselves to joyously celebrate in the physical time we spend together while continuing to learn how to best love one another when we're apart.

Celebrating our birthdays (29 and 31!) together with a delicious Japanese dinner at Yoshi's....

...followed by a few more birthday drinks at the Sheba Lounge.

Happy Quality Friday (weekend)!

quality friday: afternoon breaks

some days desperately call for a little something extra to break up the monotony or busy-ness of the day.

back when i worked in an office [i know, i'm saying that like it was ages ago], i would enjoy a lunch-hour run with my workout buddies, as a way to clear my head and rejuvenate for the afternoon ahead. it worked wonders, and now that i work from home, you'd think that these types of breaks would be easier to take. in fact, they're not.

when i'm on the road, there are definitely days when my lunches are either highly condensed or completely non-existent. on the days i'm working from home i either find myself forget about lunch, or i spend the hour checking my personal e-mail, friend's blogs, or other such stationary activities. sadly, at the end of the day, i look back and realize that i've just spent 8+ hours sitting on my couch with my computer on my lap and a phone to my ear, having done almost no physical activity at all.

not only do i end up feeling sluggish, lethargic, and just plain gross, but my back and neck have also started to ache from my poor posture.

this week, i finally determined that i was going to make an effort to do something active, something enjoyable or at least something that didn't involve a computer on my lunch hour. on tuesday, it was a trip to the bank and a walk around the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner. on wednesday, a run on the treadmill while watching martha make fudge [and have i mentioned that my knee no longer hurts when i run?!?!?!]. on thursday, some pilates and stretches at home, because the rain was coming down something fierce.

and friday break certainly topped off the week!

i took the day off so that i could enjoy mark's end-of-semester vocal recital [he did a fantastic job, by the way!!], and we got to his campus about an hour before the performance, leaving me with a little time to wander about. i found this lovely spot, cracked open my book, and basked in the sunshine on my face and the warmth of the mid-60 degree day, enjoying the gorgeous clouds that the rain left behind, fluffy in the bright blue sky.

it was perfect and refreshing, as all afternoon breaks should be.

what do you do to break up your day? to relax after a busy morning? or to clear your mind and prepare yourself to take on the afternoon? i'd love to hear from you!

homesick

something about being far away from home (home being chicago, of course) as the holiday season began, started to get me down last week.

my week of vacation, during which i was finally able to slow down and relax a little, was followed by a week of very little travel for work. nice as it was, it also left my mind free to finally realize just how much i miss my seeing, and being with, my friends and family.

you see, for a while after we moved, i was finding myself back in chicago every few weeks, so the experience of moving 2,000 miles away was just a little bit cushioned. following this "transition" came almost 2 months of no trips back. and with it, a noticeable lapse in communication with folks back home (and i fully admit that i am as much to blame as anyone), no more marathon to train for, the reality of not being able to get together with anyone easily, missing out on things i wanted to be a part of, and then, our first holiday in california.

i started to feel very, very, far, far away. and the sadness hit like a ton of bricks.

i've never lived away from home before. i went to college 15 minutes from my parents house, and since we've been married, mark and i have never lived more than an hour away from the people that we care about most. so this has been a first for me, and all-of-a-sudden, all at once, the reality of distance set in.

i started to notice that i didn't have much energy to do anything. after a day of sitting at the computer, all i wanted to do was take a nap. and with mark working some nights, i was especially lonely. i found myself in tears one night, wondering things like does anyone even miss us? and can't we just pick up and go home? thankfully, i have a wonderful and supportive husband who held me as i cried, and even cried with me (until we were both laughing:), reminding me that these feelings are normal.

and the next day, i spent a few hours re-connecting with my dearest, oldest friend.

and then i got an e-mail from my mom that reminded me that i'm at the top of her list.

and the next day, we got a call from our friend, and church choir director from home, just to see how things were going with us.

and then my brother, brandon, called and we spent a long time catching up and planning for Christmas.

and to top it all off, i also found out, that work will be bringing me back to chicago even sooner than our planned Christmas trip!

and so, i feel a million times better.

isn't God good? He knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it, and He always, always, ALWAYS provides.

fit for a....kid

ever lose track of what you're doing for just a moment? and that moment is just the amount of time needed to make all the difference?

i blatantly disregarding the "hand wash cold", figuring that cold water on the delicate cycle would suffice. but i intended to pay attention to the "dry flat" on the label. critical instructions for 100% merino wool, i was reminded when i opened the dryer.

sad thing is that i've done this before. twice.

so unless i shrink 6 inches, i'm hoping that my favorite travel sweater - lightweight but warm, perfect for an airplane - will be loved by some 10-year-old, somewhere.