Sunday, December 2, 2007

homesick

something about being far away from home (home being chicago, of course) as the holiday season began, started to get me down last week.

my week of vacation, during which i was finally able to slow down and relax a little, was followed by a week of very little travel for work. nice as it was, it also left my mind free to finally realize just how much i miss my seeing, and being with, my friends and family.

you see, for a while after we moved, i was finding myself back in chicago every few weeks, so the experience of moving 2,000 miles away was just a little bit cushioned. following this "transition" came almost 2 months of no trips back. and with it, a noticeable lapse in communication with folks back home (and i fully admit that i am as much to blame as anyone), no more marathon to train for, the reality of not being able to get together with anyone easily, missing out on things i wanted to be a part of, and then, our first holiday in california.

i started to feel very, very, far, far away. and the sadness hit like a ton of bricks.

i've never lived away from home before. i went to college 15 minutes from my parents house, and since we've been married, mark and i have never lived more than an hour away from the people that we care about most. so this has been a first for me, and all-of-a-sudden, all at once, the reality of distance set in.

i started to notice that i didn't have much energy to do anything. after a day of sitting at the computer, all i wanted to do was take a nap. and with mark working some nights, i was especially lonely. i found myself in tears one night, wondering things like does anyone even miss us? and can't we just pick up and go home? thankfully, i have a wonderful and supportive husband who held me as i cried, and even cried with me (until we were both laughing:), reminding me that these feelings are normal.

and the next day, i spent a few hours re-connecting with my dearest, oldest friend.

and then i got an e-mail from my mom that reminded me that i'm at the top of her list.

and the next day, we got a call from our friend, and church choir director from home, just to see how things were going with us.

and then my brother, brandon, called and we spent a long time catching up and planning for Christmas.

and to top it all off, i also found out, that work will be bringing me back to chicago even sooner than our planned Christmas trip!

and so, i feel a million times better.

isn't God good? He knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it, and He always, always, ALWAYS provides.

4 comments:

Stacy Peterson said...

Oh we do miss you!! Sorry the home sick wave hit. Glad to hear you are feeling encouraged though!

Melissa said...

Can't wait for you to come home. Praying for you and missing you. XOXO.

simplicity said...

I hate that homesick feeling. Sorry you felt that way but so glad that God reminded you of his abundant blessings.

Anonymous said...

Oh, oh ... When you're feeling like that - "Does anyone even miss us?" - just pick up the phone! Chances are someone on the other end is wondering "Do they even miss us?" Watch out ... your phone will be ringing every Saturday and Sunday night about 8 or 9 o'clock when things shut down here. You will get so sick of it. I promise. Love, Mommy

P.S. WHEN ARE YOU COMING??? IS IT A SURPRISE?