Quality Friday: Sleep - It Does a Body Good

Since early April, I have found myself working much longer hours, sometimes tearing myself away from my computer after 8 or 9pm at night. Working from home can be challenging, because it is difficult to create boundaries between work-life and home-life when there is no physical difference between where they take place. My "office" is the couch. My relaxation spot is also the couch. I can effectively keep working and allow myself to think I'm relaxing without even realizing in.

When it does occur to me that the balance in my life has been severely tilted towards work, I find myself getting frustrated and looking for more things to "do" to physically force myself away from work. Case in point, I signed up for a marathon. Don't get me wrong - I'm very excited to be training, and am thrilled to be doing it for a great cause. Still, part of my reasoning for doing so was a bit flawed.

One reason for a marathon training program? Having something else to do will force me to stop working earlier in the evenings so that I can "do something for myself". The reality? Now I have one more (hugely time-consuming) activity to try to fit into an already crammed work and travel schedule. My solution lately? Stay awake longer. Well, who needs sleep anyway?

Me, I'm learning.

Last Monday night, as Mark and I were sitting on the couch enjoying our evening before my whirlwind week of travel, I found myself mentally working down the list of things I needed to get done before I left. I picked up my computer to check into my flight. Mark asked me to please put it down and please try to spend some time with him - we were in the middle of a conversation, and it was obvious that I was barely listening. Worse, I found myself getting increasingly frustrated that he was still talking to me when I clearly had so much to do and was obviously already tired. I could feel my pulse racing until as we started to argue, and finally I snapped at him.

I immediately found myself fighting back tears, as I buried my face in Mark's shoulder. Why can't I just get it all done? I cried. I'm exhausted, and obviously have not figured out how to manage my time. I have so much to do, and don't understand why I have to have a limit. I don't want to be limited. You know I hate it when I feel like I can't do something, and right now I'm pretty sure I'm not doing anything well, I sobbed to him.

Lovingly, my husband comforted me. He reminded me that I needed to be a little easier on myself, get more rest and put less pressure on myself. He told me that how much he appreciated me and promised to be more understanding and less demanding of my time. He said all the right things and was an absolute Saint.

Fast-forward to 11:30 pm Thursday night, when again, I was a completely exhausted wreck, having traveled to Seattle and then LA in the previous 2 days. Barely surviving on less that 4 hours of sleep per night, I still forced myself to get up early that morning to run at the hotel gym. Intermittently, I was crabby and snapping at Mark, then falling asleep on him, as we tried to talk on the phone for the first time that day.

Finally, he begged me to just go to bed already. When I complained that I needed to get up early to run, he told me that I was bing ridiculous and reminded me that I desperately needed sleep. Please sleep, he pleaded. Just catch up - you'll feel so much better. Don't set your alarm until you ACTUALLY need to get up tomorrow.

Thank God for his persistence, and that I had the sense to listen. Immediately, I crawled into bed, and surprised myself by waking up ahead of my alarm, well rested.

My day on Friday was wonderful. Amazingly, I am a much calmer and happier person when I get enough sleep:) I truly believe that just one night of solid shut-eye made the entire difference for my weekend. Instead of going into it exhausted, I was well rested and de-stressed. On both Friday and Saturday nights, I followed suit, going to bed early and waking up feeling wonderful, able to truly enjoy (and focus on) the time that Mark and I shared together.

I hope that this is a new leaf that I'm turning over. Away with the crabby, unbalanced person that I've been. Here's to Sleep - a key component in my quest towards balance and proper boundaries in my life!